Posted by: JDM..... | November 11, 2015

You’re Doing it Wrong, II….

….of course, II….

When I first spotted the article I just rolled my eyes and muttered, “Oh, God, another co-dependency do-it-yourself-my-way project gone wrong.”

The title left no doubt:

“5 Ways You’re Breathing Wrong”

One of these days I’ll invest the two or three minutes it would take to set up a new default home page that actually features that archaism: NEWS instead of MSN’s crossbred, one-eye-in-the-middle-of-the-forehead offering of Daily Living Hints for the One-Celled, and supermarket tabloid re-runs. In the meantime, I guess I’ll just continue to enjoy using such daily fodder as justification to strut and throw big words around as though I know more than these pajama journalists do. Well, in many cases, I actually do, he said humbly.

Not long ago I mocked an article accusing myriad unknown readers of drinking water wrong, and guffawed that there was no way to beat that. I stand corrected, and promise to never say such a thing again without immediately slaying a goat and walking around an eert elpam backwards three times.

I read the piece and learned one thing of vital importance. I learned that all of the strange pills advertised to cure everything except ruminating over which pill to take to facilitate deciding which pill to take, and all of the terabytes of drivel “published” to instruct the brain dead and gullible how to consume water, breath, and metabolize, micromanage cell division, and perhaps even walk and chew gum (organic and sugar free, of course), are for naught. Everybody is most likely to expire at an unfortunately young age of massive ulcers and frontal lobe eversion.

 

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Responses

  1. Great post. I don’t know how I’ve managed to keep myself from massive dehydration.


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