Posted by: JDM..... | February 22, 2012

I’m sorry…….

no, I’m not….

Hardly a day goes by when someone isn’t saying “I’m sorry” on the news.

Seems like people who are in the public eye, or who at least like to fancy themselves as such, have become a bit paranoid about offending someone. Actually, I seriously doubt if they are sorry at all ….any more than a kid is sorry when he/she gets caught doing something that was unquestionably intentional and enjoyable such as sneaking an illicit cookie, punching a neighborhood pain-in-the-butt in the nose, or pissing off the grumpy old neighbor across the street.

Like I used to tell my own, “Horse feathers…! You’re just sorry you got caught.”

I mean, these are politicians, sports stars, and high end performers I’m talking about, and even though many of them, despite their detractors’ claims to the contrary, are actually reasonably intelligent people, they put on the long faces and act like the Social Taboos just sort of fell out of their mouths by accident.

I have a few of thoughts on that state of affairs, in addition to the “Horse feathers” thing, one being: “why do they feel compelled to apologize in the first place?” The second is “why do we have so damned many taboos?” The third is why is it simply rude to utilize George Carlin’s Seven Dirty Words, reflect on another’s presumed canine genealogy, or stand by a fallen soldiers funeral holding a sign declaring that you are glad he is dead, but if you make uncomplimentary references to someone’s religion, relatively insignificant anthropological characteristics, gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, or any of the other legislatively or bureaucratically declared verbal no-noes you risk the modern day equivalent of boiling oil?

The good news is, I have answers for each of those queries. Selected individuals, especially those basking in the imitation ultra violet radiation of government Most Favored Special Interest Group status, may not like my answers, but I really don’t give a northbound rat’s south end. And, I’m not sorry.

I will defer my treatises on “discrimination” and utterances that annoy the Word Police for another time. Right now, I just wish to plant the suggestion that we might not be quite as angelic as we like to think we are, and that we revisit Pogo’s brilliant satirical and infinitely recyclable declaration of 1970: “We have met the enemy and he is us.” Think about it.

In the meantime, I’ll shine up the answers to the questions I posed earlier. And since Carlin’s once shocking demonstration of cerebral sewage would hardly raise an eyebrow today, I think I’ll put together an updated version in his honor featuring today’s forbidden terminology.

Fair warning…..I stopped referring to urine as “tinkle” more than sixty five years ago, and I’m not inclined to revert to linguistic toddlerhood just to keep some jackass from wetting himself while he calls his lawyer. Don’t expect a nicely strained and filtered yawn with guarded references to “N” words and the like. And, in advance, I’m not a bit sorry.



  1. Pogo is my ultimate hero!

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